Fantasy & Reality

Why do I need or want this?  I'm really not sure...

·      Maybe I need more clear boundaries, so life feels orderly and not out of control?

o   I didn't have any boundaries while growing up. Could it be that?

o   Maybe I just need the reassurance and orderliness of actions having consequences for the world to make sense? Of course they do, but it is not always as clear as "if this, then that..."

·      Maybe I want or need to change faster to become who I want to be and do what I want to do?

o   I am good, but I have huge dreams so I need to become ever better to achieve my goals.

o   Sometimes consequences are too long-term to change behavior effectively. For example, I know that if I eat less, I will lose weight, look better, be healthier, and live longer. But because these are all long term effects, it can be very hard to stay on a diet since I don't see immediate results.

o   Maybe I lack sufficient self-control, or I live too much in the moment? But for me to achieve my long term goals, I need short-term consequences to effect long-term change.

·      Maybe I sometimes need the closure of having paid for my transgressions?

o   Even if others forgive me, sometimes it is hard to forgive myself, and guilt accumulates.

o   There are few situations in life where wrongs are truly paid for (like speeding tickets)

o   Sometimes I just need to have a clean slate.

·      Maybe I get tired of being in charge, and need to be under someone else's control for a while?

o   It is lonely at the top, with everyone looking to me for answers all the time.

o   Maybe even though others look up to me, I know I am not quite as great as they think?

o   Or maybe I bully others sometimes, and need to feel what it is like to be bossed around?

o   Either way, making difficult decisions is tiring. It can be a relief to have all decisions out of my hands, even if only for a time.

It could be any, all, or none of these reasons.  I'm not sure, but it doesn't really matter, because I do know that I crave "real" discipline, punishment, and control, that which most people would rather avoid. This need for control and discipline is a perpetual enigma which forever lives in the never-never land between fantasy and reality. My fantasy and reality are far apart and in direct conflict:

·      In my fantasy, boundaries are imposed and enforced.  In reality, I rebel against any boundaries.

·      In my fantasy, my actions have consequences.  In reality, I try to avoid negative consequences.

·      In my fantasy, I crave punishment.  In reality, I fear punishment. 

·      In my fantasy, I must give up control.  In reality, I love to be in control.

·      In my fantasy, I am weak and powerless.  In reality, I am strong and powerful.

I am incredibly fortunate because I have someone who loves me enough to understand and fulfill my unusual needs and desires. It is complicated by the fact that my fantasy needs it to be "real," but at the same time, we have a great relationship and equal partnership, so our reality needs it to be "fantasy." In the end, we allow the fantasy to enter our reality from time to time, but our relationship will never be in any way defined by it, but rather by our love for each other. We are loving, we are in love, and everything we do is inspired by love. Even the very firmness, strictness, harshness and at times almost meanness that she unleashes as part of this fantasy ultimately flow from our love for each other. It is very ironic that this fantasy which is based on power and control (both of which have absolutely no place in love) makes us ever closer to each other and more in love.

So here I am waiting, remembering the last time and anticipating the next, not knowing when it will be; It could be tomorrow, next week, or next month.  I crave it because the whole experience is unbelievably exciting, and not knowing when it will next happen only adds to the excitement.  At the same time I also fear the real emotion involved, since I don’t like disappointing her. As more time passes from the last punishment, the desire grows and I want it to happen again. But in order for it to have meaning, it has to be for real infractions and she has to have emotions to vent. Because I love her and only want to make her happy, I will never try to hurt her feelings, so infractions are not intentional, but rather things that I do without thinking or that result from my bad habits.  Also, because she is kind and understanding, she might not choose to punish me even when I deserve it.  However, living together inevitably ensures that infractions will happen from time to time, and at least at some of these times, she will be in the mood to use my fantasy to make her feelings clear.

When she decides to punish me, I am immediately overcome by powerful emotions as my fantasy collides with the reality of my impending punishment. My heart races and I feel a surge of adrenaline bordering on fear. I may think it is unfair or undeserved and try to defend my actions or plead my innocence, but ultimately, it was me who asked for this, who gave her this authority, and who said that her word is final, so I give in to the inevitable.  As soon as the punishment actually starts, everything becomes very real very quickly, and the fantasy is forgotten for a time, totally replaced by reality.  I am initially surprised by how it is more painful than I remembered from before, since I tend to forget the pain and remember only the experience (kind of like having a baby). At first, I try to fight the punishment and just endure until the end.  I am more focused on being strong  than thinking about why I am being punished. As the punishment continues, I start to feel like I can't take any more, and that it will never end.  But of course it doesn't end yet, since at that point true punishment is just beginning.  The pain, embarrassment, guilt and emotion keep building as the punishment progresses and they overpower all my defenses one by one, until in the end I surrender to and even embrace the punishment, knowing that I deserve it and need it. At that point, I relax and just absorb the lesson being taught.  Finally the punishment can end.

However real the punishment might have been, as soon as it is over, the conflict between reality and fantasy begins once again. Over the following days, the punishment (with all of the feelings of fear, excitement, pain, and embarrassment) is ever-present in my mind.  As I sit down, or perhaps as I walk, I feel the effects of the punishment.  The times I am not consciously aware of it, I am unconsciously replaying the punishment, what was said, what needs to change, etc. But as I remember what happened, I am seeing the reality of what happened through the lens of fantasy.  Yes it was painful, embarrassing, etc., but it was also very, very hot!

Again, THIS is why it works (at least for me). Even though I don't always understand this relationship between fantasy and reality, it is BECAUSE of this paradox that it is so powerful for me. As we walk over this bridge between fantasy and reality, it all at once fulfills my strongest fantasies, changes me,  and strengthens our love.

·      It greatly enhances communication. I hear and understand much better than if she just used verbal communication. Because of the sudden harshness and seriousness, and because it plays to my deepest fantasy, the issue is given maximum attention, but in a positive way, rather than negative. Rather than just try to evade the issue and make it go away, I actually listen. Since relationships are entirely dependent on communication, this is incredibly powerful and makes our relationship bulletproof.

·      It changes my thinking or my mindset about the situation or behavior. Over the days that follow, the whole scene and all the emotions of it is on constant replay through my mind, and I see the situation more clearly from her viewpoint. As my mindset changes, it changes my behavior.

·      It greatly increases intimacy. In life, I am strong and always stand up for her, provide for her, and protect her.  But for a time, I am completely vulnerable to her. This vulnerability enables intimacy which creates a bond that others will never feel.

·      It makes me love her and feel loved even more, because she cares enough about me to do anything and everything to make my fantasies reality. Sure, if she was just cold and distant, it would make a point, but I would be angry with her and would feel defensive and might pull away. Instead, she has made my fantasy reality, exactly at the time she might not feel much like doing me favors.  

Because she is using my own fantasy to communicate her own feelings, I fully hear what she says, I see things from a different perspective, I feel closer to her than ever, and it makes me want to meet her every need because of our deep love for each other.  This strengthens our relationship and empowers me to make changes that allow our lives to be better, happier, and less stressful as I become who I want to be and we achieve our dreams. 

Beginnings & New Directions

My wife and I have been married 37 years and during that time we have changed from me spanking just her playfully, to her spanking me more often nowadays. But I still remember as if it was yesterday when our playfull spankings turned into the bottom-burner of all time as far as I was concerned. I was over her lap getting my bottom nicely slapped to a pink hue, when I asked her if she wouldn't mind being a bit firmer with me and use her wooden hairbrush until I asked her to stop as I fancied a good sound spanking for a change. She said ok but she wasn't happy with it as she didn't want to hurt me. I said for her to let me up and I would make us some refreshment whilst she went online to a site called Disciplinary Wives Club that I had found a few weeks earlier and read some of the acounts there. To cut a long story short, she spent 2 hours on it and my backside was well back in it's white state.
Well I still don't like the idea but if that's what you want to try out then let's do it. So she's now sitting on the chair with the hairbrush in front of her on the table. She calls me over and pats her lap, over I go and she starts in by handspanking me all the time chiding me for talking her into doing this and also not telling her sooner in our married life so she would have had time to adjust. All the time she kept up the spanking and the slaps were getting a bit harder and faster, until about a 100 spanks she stops. From now on when I have you in position and firmly held, your spanking will be done with the hairbrush for a very very long while and as you requested it will also be hard, in fact I am not stopping until your bottom is bruised and you have been reduced to a snottynosed sniviling bad little boy that you THINK you want. With that she leg and arm-locked me in postion and set about with gusto tanning my bottom with that brush and telling me all the reasons she could think of in agreement with me and a few of her own why I needed this spanking. Well it went on and on and on, and i started crying begging howling still she spanked faster and harder, and after about 700-800 with that brush I was well reduced to the stage she wanted me. She's never gone that far since, although I have had some that have left me bawling, but she did say some weeks later that for some reason she felt empowered by something she could,n understand to give me just what I asked for.

**********

or us, the way we use, and got into DD was a way to improve behaviors that my wife was tired of. It was causing friction in our relationship, which made life unpleasant for both of us. And I think therein lies the difference. I think that D/s or femdom tends to have a more sexual connotation to it, or a sadist or masochistic thrill for the people involved. That's not to say they're all like that, but that's what I see as the difference between that world and what we do. There's no endgame really in femdom, but with DD, there is obviously a femdom or D/s angle to it, but the goal tends to be personal improvement. And like I said there's obviously a slight bleeding over from one to the other where those sorts of things are incorporated into DD, but the overall goals remain different.

My wife was fed up with my attitude, my procrastinating on projects both at work and at home that cut into personal time, and just some immature behaviors. Nothing seemed to be working, and I felt horrible that I was making her mad and disappointed. Just talking about things wasn't having any effect and before we knew it I was slipping again. Things took a turn when I stumbled on and suggested starting a DD regimen, which she liked and embraced. We've incorporated different kinds of punishments now as many seem to do in addition to spanking. There's a level of humiliation to it of course (I would argue there always is if you're going across your wife's lap, which I'm sure you'd agree with), but the femdom elements there aren't because I get off on it. Her overall goal is improvement of things that I do. I'm not begging for a spanking every night. When I started slipping on a few things we added a denial of pleasure for me, which I hate, but if you've ever been teased for an hour only to not be allowed to climax, you adjust your behavior pretty quickly, lol. And its worked for us. There's less fighting, she's happier with my behavior, and I'm happier that things that I do don't annoy the hell out of her anymore. This obviously cannot work for everyone, but it's been effective for us and has been mutually beneficial, as I hope it has been for your relationship and others.

*********

Family tradition is the best way to say how it started. The gal I married was raised by her Mom, her dad long gone and her mom ran a tight ship. I knew she spanked, was told that dating her daughter had rules and best obey them or two choices, stop seeing her or submit to house rules. Well it was not the Mom but the daughter, and on particular date I got to carried away and she decided to give me a spanking, thankful she was not good at it and I just faked it. A week or so later I broke one of her Mom's rules and sure enough she did not bulge in her rules. I soon was standing before her, her daughter present and watching. The scolding was bad enough, but when she pulled my pants down I looked straight ahead. I went over her lap quickly and then to my shock she pulled my underpants down and off. This is how a spanking is given young man and sure enough I received a spanking like no others. She then told me her daughter had informed her of the spanking she gave, well I was soon pleading and promising to be good. She pulled me to my feet and I was more concern about rubbing the pain from my bottom than being exposed. We will be back shortly she said to her daughter and with a firm grip on my arm I was taken to the bedroom. Well the spanking was far from over, she had me over her lap, and the hairbrush was applied and boy did that hurt and I was kicking and squirming but not able to advoid the sting of the hairbrush. Once she finished I was taken back to the frontroom and told to face the wall. Since that spanking my girlfriend, now my wife has continued the family tradition. Her mom has been present a few times and commends her daughter how well she gives a spanking. Only different is that I'm told to get to the bedroom, have hands on head and naked and wait. I can be erect, she could care less, it is soon gone. So family tradition is how I enter this world.

Taking Control and Post-Orgasm Spankings

am going to comment on two themes running through your last two questions and the comments made to them. One is about a wife “seizing control and related is the notion of whether you are ready to submit completely to her authority. My experience ( with two different women) is that you don’t know if you are ready until she draws that line in the sand and demands you accept discipline. She has to seize control and then you find out. What took time in both my relationships was that my disciplinarians sensed I was ambivalent and so they hesitated to take that final step. I think it is hard in our culture for many women to demand obedience and you really have to show you are ready to submit to their authority. With my girlfriend it never really happened but my wife pretty early in our relationship insisted I accept a spanking for something I felt was unfair (at the time). That spanking happened and I realized that emotionally I could not stop her even though physically I could have. That was a defining moment for us when I realized she would spank when she decided and I couldn’t stop it. I think something like that has to happen in every DD relationship if it is to become real. As much as we think we want discipline our women have to seize and use their authority before it all clicks. Because we can’t discipline ourselves is why we ask our wives or girlfriends to do it for us. The other issue is being made to orgasm before punishment. Any male who has been punished this way would probably do almost anything to avoid another. It probably is the purest kind of adult punishment and I doubt there is a male who is not reduced to tears spanked that way. I do think willingness to accept this is an acid test for being ready to submit completely. Both women I have been involved with demanded authority to use this to enhance punishment rather than to humiliate. My girlfriend told me she felt it a limit on her authority until I agreed to do it but after I did a couple of times she never used it again. My wife also saw it as a control issue but she does actually use it to punish me for one particular misbehavior. It just my opinion but if you are looking for a way to show your wife she is in charge offer to take your next spanking after orgasm. Believe me she will understand what you are offering and after it’s over you will have no doubt who is in charge.

Alan

Tears

“Broken” is a word many find uncomfortable but it just means a deep surrender to the authority of your wife and subsequent obedience after you have been “broken”. I don’t think crying is necessarily a part of it although crying is a sure sign it has occurred. To me being broken means you accept totally your wife’s authority, give up any rebellion and accept punishment from her without argument or resistance. It happened to me the first time with a girlfriend before I met my wife. With her at that time I sometimes stopped a spanking when she took it far beyond anything I wanted or thought I could take. This greatly annoyed her and eventually would have destroyed our relationship. But this time something happened when I reached that point because one second I knew I had to stop it and the next I was telling myself I deserved what I was getting ( I really did) and I had an obligation to take it until she was done. I just let go to the pain and the embarrassment and stopped struggling against the spanking. Before she was done my bum was completely numb and I was limp and crying over her lap. Usually when she spanked me she told me I was getting a lesson in obedience or she was going to teach me obedience. After that spanking I told her I had learned that lesson but another way I could have put it was that I had been broken or disobedience had been broken, all the same thing I think. As far as I remember I never resisted her spanking me after that and I have never disobeyed my wife when she told me I was getting spanked. So for me at least after I was broken to a woman’s authority it was permanent.
Alan

Stumbling Into a Spanking

Reading about all these semipublic spankings makes me wonder if anyone who wasn’t supposed to ever stumble into one of them. That happened to me once years ago although the spanking was actually administered in my buddy’s kitchen by his wife so technically I suppose it wasn’t semipublic. My buddy (who goes unnamed) and I had a regular Saturday morning golfing date when I would pick him up at his house early morning and we would grab breakfast before hitting the links. This time he wasn’t waiting outside for me so I opened the kitchen door off the deck to call him. Instead what I saw froze me in my tracks. My buddy, pants and underpants around his ankles was over his wife’s lap while she was vigorously spanking him with a strap of some kind. He was in no position to see me but she did and smiled ever so slightly as I backed out the door. I drove around the block probably a dozen times hoping he would be out waiting for me so I wouldn’t have to go back in. But he wasn’t so I went to the front door and knocked to be met by his still smiling wife who said he “was running a little behind” and would be out soon. In another ten minutes or so he did come out looking I suspect like I do just after my wife warms my ass but he didn’t say anything about it or even acknowledge he was late. As far as I know he has no idea I saw it (unless his wife told him) and he probably has no idea my wife spanks me too. It’s weird when I think about it. We are still good friends and both have wives that spank but we have never shared any of it with each other. Two women in the same situation would probably talk it to death. Go figure

Rituals of Spanking

Rituals are important to couples whose DD is not 24-7. The rituals signal that “disciplinary rules” as my wife calls them are in effect and for us that means obedience and acceptance of her authority. Our rituals have evolved from when we started. Probably the simplest is she will simply firmly grab my bottom over my trousers and force eye contact signaling she is close to punishing. Sometimes it will just be a sharp crack over my trousers. It is a final warning meant to remind me she controls my ass. Grabbing an ear is similar but that usually means a spanking is certain. Taking my pants and underpants down slowly and deliberatively is one of our strongest rituals. It makes me very obedient very fast and she usually starts discipline that way, dropping pants to my ankles in whatever room in the house I get in trouble and then ear marching me to the “spanking room”. I think of that as the “walk of shame” because it involves trying to walk up a flight of stairs while my pants are around my ankles (try it sometime if you don’t think you will look silly doing it) Sometimes she will send me for her brush or strap after my pants are down and then take me upstairs making the walk of shame even worse. If I resist her taking my pants down she will slap me in the face not really hard but firm enough I know she is serious. This is something that has huge emotional impact for me. It just stops defiance cold and makes me very cooperative with her. Corner time is also an important ritual for us but she normally uses it only before spanking unless I am getting two separate spankings and then corner time after the first separates the first from the second. After spanking me she feels punishment is over. But pre spanking corner time is emphasized. I must stand on my toes, nose to wall, sticking my bottom out while she lectures me for my behavior frequently punctuating her scolding with hand spanks. It’s the only time she uses her bare hand to spank but I do feel it and it can go on for a long time depending on how angry she is. Eventually she will drag me over to the bed and force me to my knees in front of her sitting on the bed with the brush or strap in her lap. This is when I am expected to ask to be spanked and explain exactly what I did wrong. She wants me to basically repeat her lecture in my own words making sure I understand why she is spanking me. She puts emphasis on getting this right and in the early days she put me back in the corner several times before I got it right in what she considered a contrite form. She spanks until the point I stop struggling. Basically my bottom becomes numb and she expects me to signal that by raising my bum to meet the brush. She considers this demonstrating contrition. After the spanking is over she will produce a pair of her panties if she is going to make me wear them. She does this about a third of the time. The end of discipline is signaled when she tells me I have permission to pull up my pants. I must ask her permission and she must give me explicit permission to do this A couple of times early in our relationship I forgot this and received a second spanking but now it’s become a part of the ritual. Not every spanking is carried out so elaborately. “One the spot “spankings can occur anywhere in the house. For these she usually sends me for her brush or strap. They are usually done hard and fast beginning to end. If I am spanked in front of a witness the ritual is different. I am stripped and in the corner when the witness arrives. The lecture is short and the spanking is usually a series of spankings followed by corner time while my wife and her friend sip wine and try to embarrass me Overall I think rituals are as important as the spanking itself. My spanking are no picnic. My wife is very fit and prides herself on delivering a sound spanking but the ritual somehow makes it all an unforgettable experience and makes spanking work on so many levels.

*******

I am a wife who has been reguarly caning her husband for 30 years, for both maintainance and punsishment. He is more of the alpha male take charge type which is good in many situations but can create problems where both parties have strong personalities. He is most usually caned for being grouchy, which I think is often brought about by stress and maybe depression. Following a sound caning from the woman who knows him best and knows what is best for both him and our marriage, he is much calmer, more contrite and loving with a more cheerful disposition in general and tensions are reduced greatly on both sides.
I always cane hard, as this will help create the necessary anticipation and fear when he knows he is due for my cane, as a lot of it is in the mind as well as the bottom. Anticipation and ritual are important. I tell him things like how sore his bottom is going to be and how much I am looking forward to seeing it all red and nicely striped. He gets turned on when I tell him to go and wait for me in the spanking room (actually a spare bedroom). Another trick I use, is to practice caning a cushion in the next room while he is waiting for me, being out of sight really builds up the apprehension when he hears the swish of the cane as it lands on the cushion as he can imaging how it is soon going to feel on his own bare bottom, probably a bit like naughty boys would feel as they waited outside their headmaster's study waiting their turn to be caned. When I come into him I can tell how excited and apprehensive he is. I will admonish him for his moods and remind him that the glass is half full and he has a lot to be thankful for and that every time he sits down he is goiung to be reminded. I will tell him things like, "you've been a naughty boy and what happens to naughty boys? I f he says he does not know I will tell him that they have their bare bottoms caned, now bend over the spanking chair. I usually give him a couple of strokes across his underpants and then tell him that the rest is going to be on his bare bottom, and ask him to lower his underpants for me. By now he knows the rules that he has to present his bottom properly and he is not allowed to clench his cheeks, nor get up without permission. If he clenches those cheeks I will give him a sharp crack on the top of his thighs as clenched cheeks reduce the size of the target area and his bottom isn't that big to begin with that I can place all the strokes that he needs. Then comes the part he really does not like but knows it is necessary. His erection disappears as his mind concentrates on the next stroke and wonders why is is submitting in the first place. When I am satisfied with my work we will hug each other which often will lead to great sex. All this was once considered kinky but it seems that since the advent of the internet that is no longer the case. Regardless of all that it has helped keep us close to each other and created feelings of mutual bonding which are hard to put into words.
SusanR

Anna's Story and Punishment Schedule

A BRIEF HISTORY

I MARRIED MY HUSBAND PETER AT 20. HE WAS 25 AND ALREADY VERY SUCCESSFUL.  HE WAS PART OF THE SILICON VALLEY EXPLOSION AND
WE LIVED VERY WELL.

AT 30 WE HAD TWO SONS. ONE 5 AND ONE 4. WE LIVED IN A LOVELY HOME
AND LACKED FOR NOTHING IN A MATERIAL SENSE. PETER WAS A GREAT
PROVIDER.  I WAS ALSO MISERABLE. PETER WORKED HARD AND PLAYED EVEN HARDER AND LITTLE OF HIS PLAY INVOLVED EITHER HIS WIFE OR HIS SONS. HE WAS LIVING THE LIFE OF A SINGLE MAN.

I WAS MISERABLE AND TOOK TO BEING A NAG AND MY GETTING EVEN WAS
TO DEPRIVE HIM OF ANY FORM OF SEX WITH ME.   A WEEK AFTER OUR
TENTH ANNIVERSARY WE BEGAN SEEING A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR IN AN
EFFORT TO SAVE OUR MARRIAGE FOR THE SAKE OF OUR SONS. THE FIRST
THREE MONTHS OF OUR SESSIONS ONLY MANAGED TO MAKE THINGS WORSE.
AFTER ONE SESSION WHERE PETER SAID ONLY TWO WORDS IF THAT, AND I HAD RUN ON AND ON THE COUNSELOR STOPPED ME AND ASKED PETER HOW
HE FELT. HE SAT FOR A FEW MINUTES AND THEN STOOD UP AND YELLED
" I JUST WISH SHE WOULD GROW SOME BALLS AND STOP WHINING"
AFTER HE SPOKE HE STORMED OUT. I SAT IN SHOCK FOR SEVERAL MINUTES
BEFORE I LEFT.

LONG STORY SHORT WE BEGAN ACTUALLY TALKING. ONCE PAST THE ANGER HE COULD TELL ME HE WANTED ME TO REIN HIM IN. WANTED ME TO GIVE HIM
CONSEQUENCES FOR HIS BAD BEHAVIOR. I BEGAN READING ABOUT WIVES WHO SPANK THEIR HUSBANDS. WHILE WE SPOKE OF THIS IN GENERAL TERMS PETER CONFESSED THAT FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS HE HAD BEEN SEEING
A WOMAN WHO SPANKED HIM. THERE WAS NO SEX ONLY SPANKING AND HE ASKED ME TO SPEAK WITH HER. BECAUSE HE WAS SO OPEN I AGREED.

I MET MS X I SHALL CALL HER AND SHE WASNT ANYTHING I EXPECTED HER TO BE. SHE ASSURED ME THERE WAS NO SEX AND THIS WENT BEYOND SEX FOR PETER.

THE NEXT STEP WAS HARDEST SETTING UP RULES WITH PETER AND THEN WHEN HE BROKE A RULE SUCH AS BEING HOME FOR DINNER AT THE AGREED UPON TIME.  IT TOOK TIME BUT FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS WE HAVE REFINED THE RULES. THE ONE THING WE DO NOT DO IS EVER MIX UP DISCIPLINE WITH SEX AFTER.

SPANKING PROGRAM FOR ANNA AND PETER


AFTER MUCH TRIAL AND ERROR WE NARROWED DOWN THE THREE AREAS
THAT WE BOTH AGREED NEEDED WORK FROM HIM TO MAKE OUR MARRIAGE WORK BETTER.

# 1 OFFENSIVE TONE. TOO OFTEN HE SPOKE IN A CONDESCENDING TONE
       TO ME EITHER ALONE, IN FRONT OF COMPANY AND ESPECIALLY IN FRONT
       OF OUR BOYS.

# 2  DISPLAYS OF ANGER THAT OFTEN SCARED THE BOYS AND EMBARRASSED 
        ME EITHER WITH OTHER FAMILY OR FRIENDS. LIKE ALL BOYS OUR SONS
        WERE BEGINNING TO MIRROR THEIR DADS BEHAVIOR.

# 3  DRINKING AND DRIVING EITHER ALONE OR WITH FAMILY

SINCE OUR BOYS SPEND EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT WITH HIS PARENTS WE DESIGNATE THAT EVENING AS PUNISHMENT EVENING. PETER KNOWS TO GO AT ONCE UP TO THE BEDROOM AND LAY OUT THE BELT, BRUSH , PADDLE, AND A RIDING CROP. HE THEN UNDRESSES AND STANDS IN MIDDLE OF ROOM AND WAITS UNTIL I COME UPSTAIRS. I CHOOSE WHAT METHOD I WILL USE AND THE TOTAL COUNT IS LEFT TOTALLY UP TO ME. I CALL IT THE " UNTIL MOMENT"
THAT IS THE MOMENT WHEN I SENSE BY HIS TEARS, PLEAS OR ATTITUDE
I CAN STOP. AFTER A SPANKING HE PUTS AWAY ALL THE SPANKING MATERIAL
AND THEN STANDS IN THE CORNER TO MEDITATE FOR AN HOUR. NOSE TO WALL HANDS LOCKED IN THE SMALL OF THE BACK LEGS SPREAD APART.

AFTER HIS CORNER TIME HE COMES DOWN TO DINNER AND WE RESUME A NORMAL EVENING. THERE IS NEVER SEX OF ANY KIND. USUALLY WHEN WE GO TO BED THE OFTEN CURLS UP AND TELLS ME HE IS SORRY AND THANKS ME FOR MY PATIENCE.

IN THE PAST YEAR AS WE HAVE GROWN TO UNDERSTAND THESE NEEDS THERE ARE TIMES WHEN AN IMMEDIATE SESSION IS NEEDED BY HIM. THESE USUALLY OCCUR AT HIS OFFICE AFTER WORKING HOURS. I HAVE A STTER COME IN AND GO TO HIM WHERE HE ASKS FOR WHAT HE NEEDS TO GROUND
HIM. THESE SESSIONS SEEM TO PRODUCE THE TEARS MOST OFTEN AND AFTER ONE OF THESE SESSIONS WHEN WE GET HOME THERE IS A LOVELY CALM AND HE OFTEN BEGS TO SERVICE ME WITH NOT RELEASING HIMSELF.

Recent Spankings

My most recent spanking was my weekly maintenance spanking this past Sunday evening - it my usual maintenance spanking - about a hundred whacks of the paddle/hairbrush (this week it was with the Vermont brush) - bare bottom, otk - and sobbing for at least half of it. My wife believes that all husband spankings - even maintenance - should result in tears for it to be truly effective (with the occasional exception of a playful or sexual spanking).

However, the spanking before was on Memorial Day - and it was quite memorable. My wife's sister eventually came to learn of our lifestyle and over the last couple of years has witnessed a few of my spankings, a couple of times holding my legs at one end of the couch while my wife paddled me at the other end of the couch. So, it was no big shock, when on Memorial Day, as the three of us were together around the kitchen table, that I was told to drop my drawers and bend over the table following an unfortunate sarcastic remark that had slipped out. What was shocking though was my wife returning from the bedroom with two paddles and then handing one over to her sister. She said that since I had been rude in front of both of them, that I deserved a good whacking from both of them - whereupon, one got on each side of me, and they proceeded to take turns whacking my rear end. I got about 25 from each with plenty of sting, yelping, and dancing but without the steady rhythm I was able to resist the sobbing that my wife almost always brings me to within the first 30 or 40 whacks. But - then my wife asked my sister to "finish me up" and to give me about 50 good whacks without stopping. Well, she had watched my wife enough, and was warmed up enough, that she went at it with a gusto, and to my shame, she reduced me to tears about half way through. But I could not help but appreciate her pose as I got up and pulled my pants up - leaning back against the wall, arms crossed and still holding the paddle, with a satisfied, smug look on her face. Both sisters seem to be natural DWC ladies - although neither realized it till middle age. For me, it was a milestone - my first adult spanking by another lady, but I have already been assured it won't be the last - for starters, her sister will be administering my weekly maintenance spanking one weekend next month when my wife is out of town for business. --Al

The Family Paddle - by Matt

Jeff kept replaying the incident at Target over and over in his mind. He wasn't sure why he snapped at his wife Karen over the decision to buy organic peanut butter versus their usual Jiffy brand purchase. He was the one who ate the majority of peanut butter in the house - so he should have the final say on the matter.

But with his nose pressed in the corner of their master bedroom, Jeff was reminded who did have the final say. It was Karen. And since they had the house to themselves - kids were off to the movies for the afternoon - Karen wanted to make an immediate impression to correct Jeff's behavior. On the way home from their shopping trip, Karen explained to Jeff that his outburst was uncalled for and needed to be dealt with. And in the Harrington household, that meant Jeff could find himself draped over Karen's laps on the receiving end of a spanking. A position he found himself routinely during his childhood at the hands of his mother. And a position that Karen took very seriously since she took the reigns in her relationship with Jeff.

It started innocently enough - almost 20 years ago - when Jeff and Karen began dating. The first time Karen visited Jeff's childhood home to meet his parents, a wooden paddle hanging in the kitchen near the chalkboard and phone caught her eye. Jeff's mother, Pat, noticed Karen's glance and smiled to herself.

"I couldn't have raised the boys in this house without that. It helped settle many a disagreement and put an end to any misbehavior around here. Still serves as a nice reminder," Pat disclosed to Karen.

"I think you and my mother were cut from the same cloth," Karen chuckled.

"Sounds like a smart woman," Pat replied as Karen nodded in agreement.

"Jeff probably was on the receiving end a bit more than his brother Steve but it it sure was effective in keeping him in line," Pat continued. Karen and Pat settled into the kitchen to chat over coffee while Jeff and his father Raymond caught up over a football game in the Den. Pat divulged everything to Karen, about Jeff's childhood but more importantly his child-rearing.

Pat was the matriarch and disciplinarian of the family. She dealt with any improprieties with a stern and steadfast trip over Pat's knee in the form of a spanking. As long as you lived under Pat's roof, you lived under Pat's rules. If that meant a paddling, corner time or an early trip to bed - so be it - it was more than likely well-deserved. Pat only warned once which was usually enough to adjust attitudes most of the time. But if that line was crossed, Pat would usher the errant Harrington boy by the ear to the nearest corner of the house.

Spankings were not always given but if pants were unbuttoned, unzipped and pushed down to knee level - then one was imminent. From here, a nose would be pressed into the corner and hands were to remain at either side. Pat thought that some reflection time by a naughty boy with his white briefs on display was necessary to humble the miscreant before the paddling. Corner time usually lasted anywhere from 15 minutes to 30 minutes. And it did not matter who was present, punishments were given on the spot - so any member of the family, neighbors or whomever was at the house would be witness. Most spankings were delivered on a Harrington lad's upturned, brief-clad bottom - but a bare-bottomed paddling did occur on some occasions. All spankings were followed by corner time.

20 years later, Jeff still found himself in a corner, pants in a puddle at his ankles, hands at his side, underpants on display by the instruction of his wife. Karen entered their master bedroom and moved a chair from the wall to the center of the room. She made her way to Jeff with the Harrington family paddle which his mother took the liberty of passing on to her. Pat thought that it could come in handy for Karen and plus - no Harrington boy was ever too old for a good old-fashioned spanking.
Karen approached Jeff and rubbed the smooth wooden paddle across Jeff's briefs. She didn't say a word and then gently began to tap Jeff's bottom with the paddle. This always made Jeff squirm because he knew that shortly he would be over Karen's knee like the naughty little boy that he was.

"Young man. Have you had time to think about why you are in the corner," Karen opened the conversation.

"Yes Ma'am. I have had time to think," Jeff replied.

"And?"

"I'm sorry. I just got-"

"I'm sorry what?" Karen interrupted.

"I'm sorry Ma'am. I should not have been rude and disrespectful towards you at the store earlier. In the future if I have a differing opinion I will talk to you about in a respectful manner," Jeff apologized.

"Very well. And now let's get down to business. What happens to naughty boys who are disrespectful and cause a scene - in a Target of all places?"

"They get punished Ma-am," Jeff said softly.

"That's right. And how are they punished?"

"They are spanked Ma'am," Jeff answered.

"Very well," Karen replied as she made her way to the straight-backed chair in the middle of the room. "Now, come on Mister, you've got a spanking coming!"

And with those words, Jeff shuffled from the corner to the side of Karen. Karen ushered Jeff over her lap and began with a sharp smack to the seat of his boyish white briefs. Karen's face was determined as each smack was delivered with deliberate precision and a good stern lecture thrown in from time to time. As for Jeff, his face grimaced as his dear wife applied the Harrington family heirloom to his rear-end.

The gift that just kept on giving for our dear Jeff.

The Party's Surprising End - And a New Beginning

It was after a party at Erica's place in late 1993. Erica and I had developed a friendship, but neither of us had an inkling that we shared a common interest. At the party's end Erica walked me out to my car and as we reached the car I made some cheeky remark to which to my astonishment and delight Erica gave me a very firm smack on bottom. Deciding to test the waters I said "Oh, I'd pay good money to have bottom smacked" to which she retorted "I smack cheeky boy's bottoms for free". Getting slightly excited I said "If cheeky boys get a smacked bottom does that mean that naughty boy's get a spanking". Erica smiled (I could see that she was enjoying this banter), "Indeed, naughty boy's get put over my knee and are very soundly spanked". I quickly replied "Be still my beating heart", Erica then continued "In fact, if they have been very naughty, the spanking will be on their bare bottom". "Oh my goodness" I said and then added "What happens if they have been very, very, very naughty". "Ah, that would mean that I need to use my hairbrush and I would need make sure that the naughty boy had a very bright red and sore bottom. It would be a spanking that he wouldn't forget in hurry". Deciding to go for broke I said, "Well there is only one thing I can say to that", to which Erica replied "And what's that ?" With a sheepish grin I said "I've been a very, very, very naughty boy". Erica smiled and said "In that case you better come back inside". After about 10 minutes, she summoned me into her bedroom and as I entered I couldn't believe my eyes as a life long fantasy was quickly becoming a reality. Erica had changed into a black bra, panties, suspender belt, stockings and high heels and was holding a large wooden hairbrush. She had positioned a straight back chair next to her bed. She took my hand and led me to the chair. She then undid my belt and and jeans and pushed them down to my ankles. Erica sat down and pulled across her lap and pulled down my underpants. Then to heighten the anticipation and my arousal she gave me a lecture on what a naughty boy I had been and how this spanking was long overdue and that this was going to be the first of many spankings. She added that it was obvious to her that I was a spoilt brat to needed the spanked on a regular basis. Finally the first spank landed and I was immediately aware that she had started with a hand spanking. Erica was a very proficient spanker and it was long before I began wiggling and moaning from the very hard spanking that she was administering. After about 10 minutes of hand spanking she stood me up and told me to stand in the corner and not look around. I stood in the corner with my bottom on fire and I still hadn't felt the sting of the hairbrush. As I stood there I began to hear Erica moaning and I turned around to see her masturbating on the bed. Seeing me turn around she barked at me "I told you not to turn around, get back over my knee immediately". I hurriedly obeyed this very exciting and dominant woman and then received the spanking of my life (to that point of time). Erica wielded that hairbrush for a good 15 minutes and it left my bottom of a very bright crimson. At the completion of the spanking she positioned herself on the bed and ordered me to go down on her which I was happy to obey. Spanking me had obviously aroused her and she came very quickly. Erica and I have been together for over twenty years now and we have a sensational loving dd relationship, a wonderful friendship and a great sex life. I'm so glad that I made that cheeky comment.

User Stories - Volume 1

The following story is a brief recounting of how my wife and I began our journey in the Disciplinary Wife lifestyle.It was previously posted on Experience Project.  It is more or less a true recounting of the events - just a touch of dramatization to make the story flow better.  --Al

My wife and I had been married over twenty years when she first put a paddle to my bare behind. Our marriage had become rocky and troubled over the years, with lots of arguing and bickering, very little romance and only sporadic sex. And when we did have sex, it was very plain vanilla - and although we were both sexually considerate of the other, there was certainly very little adventure - and there had never even been a hint of any interest in spanking on her part at all. I, over the years, had occasionally dropped a hint or two of my interest in spanking (having been fascinated by spanking since puberty), but she had never even seemed to notice. 

So, it was one of the Great Surprises of my life when, during a rare moment of candid conversation one evening in which we had shared our secret sexual fantasies, that my wife told me, "You know....I would love to paddle your ass!" This proclamation was immediately followed by instructions to stay put - that she would be right back. She came back a minute later with a ping pong paddle - and the next minute I was lying over her lap getting my bare bottom paddled. And while it was an admittedly mild spanking - especially by her standards today, it was more than what I would have guessed - about thirty whacks that all had some definite sting to them with a few real zingers towards the end - offering a hint of what was to come in the days that followed. 

The events of the following morning continued to leave me somewhat shell shocked - as I really cannot overstate how amazed I was by this turn of events. After we awoke the next morning, took our turns in the bathroom, my wife picked up the ping pong paddle and tapping it on her hand, said, "We need to discuss you leaving the toilet seat up" (yes, I know that is cliché, but it really is the way it unfolded) - and shortly thereafter I was again lying across her lap getting yet another paddling applied to my bare behind. This one was probably closer to fifty whacks, and the whacks were decidedly a bit more intense than those of the previous evening. 

This episode was definitely more like a real spanking than the first one. And although it was still mild enough that it did not cause any major discomfort, she did warm my bottom quite well that morning, leaving me with the sense that I had indeed been given a spanking that Saturday morning.

A bit later, as we were having breakfast, my wife - now in an unusually good mood - started teasing me with the idea that maybe this was just what our marriage needed - that whenever I got out of line, she could just put me over her lap for a good paddling - and that she could probably get used to that idea. Again, I must say that I was truly astonished that my plain vanilla wife of all these years had paddled my bare rear twice in the past twelve hours, seemed to be enjoying it immensely, and was now teasing me about paddling me regularly to keep me in line.

Since I had fantasized about having a disciplinary wife for years, I immediately encouraged her in this conversation by joking back with her that for the good of our marriage, I would drop my drawers and take it like a man whenever she thought I needed it. And then I went on to tell her, just a bit more seriously, that there were some good web sites for the "disciplinary wife" - and told her about Aunt Kay's Disciplinary Wives Club and another web site that had some good stories about wives that spanked their husbands. Shortly thereafter, she was on the Net reading all about wives that spank - and stayed there for the next three or four hours it seemed. In the meantime, I attended to some various chores and such. When she finally took a break from her research, we went out for a late lunch and had yet another conversation. She had been impressed with what she had read on the DWC site and believed that it would be a good idea for us to try to the Disciplinary Wife lifestyle. She also felt sure that I must feel the same way or that I would not have told her about the DWC site - and that clearly I was ok with the idea of accepting a disciplinary spanking - although she had some concern that I would feel the same way about taking such a paddling once I started getting the kind of "real 

spankings" as described on the DWC web site. But she did hope that I would be able to accept true disciplinary spankings because she honestly felt that was just what was needed to help our marriage. The way she saw it was that most of our marital bickering came from the fact that I was an arrogant, cocky smartass (and that was at least mostly true) and that having my bare butt well paddled on a regular basis would be just the thing to help me learn some humility. I, of course, agreed to this trial - still completely overwhelmed that this was even happening - as I would never have believed it if you had told me. We talked some more, agreed to some basic rules, and that sort of thing. After lunch, she had me take her to purchase a true wooden hairbrush as she had already figured out from her research that this was an indispensable tool of the trade, and that the ping pong paddle was simply not heavy enough or durable enough to get the job done. We went to a few stores before she found one that was sufficiently large and heavy enough to suit her.

We arrived home with the brush in the late afternoon. My wife had already told me that she was going to come home and type up our "contract and rules" so there would not be any misunderstandings. When we got home, however, she informed me that before she went to all the trouble to type all that up, that she needed to make sure that I meant business and would be willing to accept a real disciplinary paddling - so I needed to go the bedroom and drop my drawers. We had already agreed at lunch that I was granting her the power to spank me at her sole discretion - even if it was just because she said so - so I went to the bedroom. And, besides, although I was somewhat nervous about getting a "real spanking" with a hairbrush, it was - after all - what I had fantasized about for years. But the first crack of that hard wood brush against my bare ass was nothing like my fantasy - it was like a shock - it hurt - it stung - it burned. Then there were three more in rapid succession - two for each cheek. I yelped, I cussed. I wanted them to stop. But then there were five more sets of four like that - and with each set she increased the intensity just a bit it seemed - the warm-ups that Aunt Kay describes on the DC site's techniques section. They all hurt, and stung, and burned - but at least I had adjusted to the initial shock enough that the temptation to jump off her lap had diminished - still, she had wrapped her legs around mine to lock me in after the third set - as my legs were kicking and flailing about, and my ass was squirming around all over her lap as the swats grew harder. But then the sets of four were over, and the real spanking began. She started paddling and didn't stop - she alternated cheeks at times, and then swatted the same spot repeatedly for a few times - painting my bottom a solid crimson. Every whack stung and burned - and soon my ass was on fire. I yelped and moaned, cussed and begged, kicked and squirmed, and ultimately submitted to the pain, tears flowing, gasping, finally softly sobbing. And finally it was over. I slid off her lap and onto my knees next to the bed, my head resting on her lap, where I found comfort as I dried my eyes and caught my breath. My ass was still on fire and crimson red - there must have been a hundred 

whacks including the warm-ups. But I still somehow thanked her for helping me to become a better person. She smiled, told me she loved me, and that she was glad that I understood that the spanking was for my own good and that I would become a better man for it. 

A bit later, when it was all said and done, we had a drink and talked some more. The reality had been far different than the fantasy - but now I knew what I had consented to - and it certainly bore little resemblance to the earlier sessions with the ping pong paddle. And, yes, despite just having experienced the reality of a true disciplinary spanking, I was still ready to have a disciplinary wife who would be regularly paddling my bare behind. My wife, who as far as I would have ever guessed was about as plain vanilla as they came, shared her thoughts with me as well.

She told me that when we had both managed to open enough last night enough to share some secret thoughts with one another, and that I had shared a fascination with being spanked, she did not want to waste this rare opportunity of openness, and that she was really willing to try almost anything to spice up our love life and improve our marriage of mediocrity - so she had thought "What the hell, let's play....". And, then about half way through that first "play spanking" with the ping pong paddle - she began whacking me hard enough to generate a little sting and I was squirming around just enough that she began to enjoy the sense of power that spanking me was giving her, finding it both emotionally satisfying and sexually stimulating at the same time. She had found herself excited at the prospect of a repeat performance the next morning, and had completely enjoyed giving me the somewhat more intense spanking the following morning, again experiencing the same type of satisfaction that she had experienced the previous evening. A couple of things happened after both spankings that really reinforced the experience as well. First, the love making that followed was the best in years! Secondly, I had opened up to her in a way that I had not in years - dropped the walls and made myself vulnerable - resulting in an emotional closeness we had not experienced in a very long time. To her surprise and my complete amazement, my wife had found that she was enthusiastic about the idea of assuming the role of the disciplinary wife. 

Once I had survived the test of a real disciplinary spanking, and we had agreed to "sign the contract", I was informed that I would be receiving a daily paddling for the next week as a commitment to our new lifestyle, as well as to emotionally and physically condition me for my new role as a disciplined husband. And so began our new lifestyle, saving us from a marriage of mediocrity.

User Story 3

MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 15 YEARS.
WE MARRIED WHILE IN COLLEGE AND FOR THE FIRST TEN YEARS OF OUR MARRIAGE, HE DID AS HE PLEASED, OFTEN IGNORING WHAT I FELT. I BEGAN TO RESENT HIM MORE AND MORE.

MY SOLUTION AT THE TIME WAS TO BECOME A NAG, AND MY WAY OF PUNISHING HIM WAS TO REFUSE HIM SEX. NEITHER OF US WAS HAPPY AND THE ONLY THING THAT KEPT US OUT OF DIVORCE COURT WAS OUR TWO SONS.

ONE DAY I CAME ACROSS A BLOG ON LINE ABOUT FLR. A LIGHT WENT ON AND I BROUGHT UP THE TOPIC ONE DAY ON OUR WAY HOME FROM OUR
SESSION WITH A MARRIAGE CONSULAR. FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE WE MARRIED WE BEGAN TALKING. LONG STORY SHORT, THIS WAS THE
BEGINNING OF OUR MARRIAGE. I CALL IT THE REEDUCATION OF A HUSBAND.

TODAY THERE IS ORDER AND MUTUAL RESPECT.
I HAVE A REFORMED HUSBAND AND A PARTNER IN
RAISING TWO BOYS TO BECOME THE MEN THAT WILL TREAT THEIR WIVES WITH RESPECT.

ANNA

User Story 2

A memorable spanking as an adult came several years ago when I rented a room from a lady some 10 years my senior who I had met on a trip to Italy. I had been living in her unit in Lane Cove for about 6 months when she presented me with a very large telephone bill. I had been making quite a number of STD calls and hadn’t told her about it. I apologized and gave her the money for the calls. Neroli said that it was very naughty to run up a bill like that without telling her. I replied that it was naughty of me and I probably deserved a good spanking. To my amazement and delight, Neroli replied, you know I think that giving you a spanking would be good for both of us. So after dinner tonight I expect to see you in the living room in your PJ’s ready for a trip over my knee for a good old fashion spanking with my hairbrush. Straight after dinner I excused myself and reappeared in my PJ’s which consisted of a very thin cotton layer of material as the only protection to my bottom. Neroli came out of her bedroom dressed in a very maternal manner holding a wooden hairbrush in her hand and placed herself in the middle of the lounge. She then summoned me to get over her knee as it was time for my spanking. I positioned myself across her lap. She then said that this spanking was long overdue as she had been thinking for several months that I was in need of a damn good spanking. I agreed with her that sometimes I could behave like a spoilt brat. Ah she said, so you agree that this spanking is richly deserved and therefore it should be long and hard. Yes I replied. Good then that is exactly the sort of spanking you are going to get. Oh and one thing more, yes I said, it is going to be administered on your bare bottom and with that she pulled down my PJ pants. Neroli then proceeded to wield the hairbrush in a very deliberate rythnm, slow at first, with a stroke on each cheek and then one in the middle. After about 5 minutes the pace of the strokes increased and the strokes become increasing harder and I began to moan slightly. Neroli kept a chastising dialogue going with the spanking telling me that my behavior would need to improve or else I could expect to be spanked on a regular basis. That naughty spoilt brats such as I needed to feel the sting of a hairbrush to keep them in line and that she was most willing to tan my backside regularly. That I obviously wasn’t spanked often enough growing up and that I needed to be spanked regularly from here on to make up for all the spankings that I didn’t receive. After about ten minutes Neroli really let me have it and I began to riggle on lap as the strokes of the hairbrush were now very rapid and very hard and my moaning grew louder. My bottom felt like it was on fire. The final tanning lasted a good five minutes. After the final stroke of the hairbrush Neroli rubbed my very, very red bottom and asked whether I was going to behave myself from now on. I said yes mam, I promise. And what will happen if you don’t behave. I’ll get spanked again. Yes that’s right you will get spanked again. In fact you’ll get two spankings next time. Bare bottom spankings with a hairbrush. Now you would think that I would have behaved myself for the rest my stay at Neroli’s unit. Before I moved out of Neroli’s I was spanked at least another 50 times. Each spanking was 15 minutes long and followed the same pattern.

User Story #1


Some disciplined husbands are born.  Some are made. Some stumble into the lifestyle, give it a try, and are hooked forever.  Dan was the latter.

Dan was not a natural submissive. Quite the opposite. In his daily life, he was a senior executive in a large corporation, with a reputation for being a hard charger.  While not an ogre or a bad person, he was hard on those around him, and even harder on himself.  The kind of guy who lives his life at the edge of each new accomplishment.  That kind of performance comes at a price, however, and in Dan's case that price was stress at work, and stress at home due to his tendency to bring his high-energy, domineering work demeanor home at night.

Terry was, in many ways, Dan's mirror image. She was an accountant who like the flexibility of working at home several days a month, so she could spend more time with the kids.  While she worked for a successful firm and was good at her job, unlike Dan she did not live for work.  Though very pretty and very smart, she sometimes lacked confidence and assertiveness.  One night she came home in tears after a confrontation with a co-worker.  In a similar situation, Dan would have just mowed down the offending office mate, while Terry tended to let others walk over her.  When Dan encouraged her to be more assertive, she just sighed and observed wistfully that she was who she was, noting a marriage probably can't tolerate more than one big personality anyway.  Dan saw that as an uninspiring way to go through life, but he also knew the price he himself paid for being too assertive, too controlling, too domineering.

In truth, Dan wanted more balance in their relationship, and he strongly suspected Terry had a more assertive side.  While it might not come out easily at work, there had been signs in the bedroom.  While their sex life was not the stuff of Fifty Shades of Grey, nor was it entirely conventional.  They had experimented a few  times with Dominance and Submission, with Terry playacting the role of the tough Dom, “topping” Dan, bossing him around, pinching his nipples, and after some reluctance, giving him playful hand spankings.  Terry could not really get into the role-playing aspect of the dominance scenes, however.  While she did from time to time deliver spankings that could be a bit uncomfortable, they lasted no more than a few strokes and were delivered with much less than maximum force and effect. The fantasy play also had a downside.  These bedroom scenes often involved "punishing" Dan for various real bad acts, but it was not real punishment.  It was more like foreplay.  Foreplay that Dan very obviously enjoyed. That made Terry a somewhat reluctant participant,  because the things he was being "punished" for in these bedroom fantasies were often things that were causing Terry real anger and hurt.  Things like being too domineering in his communications with her. Not sharing his feelings.  Not being appropriately sensitive to her needs.  And then there was the constant after work socializing with customers and co-workers.  In short, Terry suspected that spanking Dan as erotic foreplay in the context of a "punishment" fantasy might just encourage his bad behavior.

Another problem with these little scenes was that  Dan remained firmly in control.  Terry never initiated a spanking.  They almost started with Dan suggesting they play that night.  And, on those few occasions where she spanked him a little harder than normal, he would voice his discomfort and she would instantly lighten up.

But, deep down inside, Dan didn't want her to lighten up.  While he had never thought much about spanking as a lifestyle choice and saw it as little more than a way to add a bit of "kink" to their otherwise conventional sex life, something about the harder spankings disturbed him, and not in a wholly bad way.  Something about those painful slaps on his bottom was both threatening and morbidly fascinating.  Like most men, he viewed online porn from time to time, and he now found himself looking for spanking content.  While there was no shortage of male-on-female spanking websites, there wasn't much in the way of content devoted to females spanking males.  And, what little there was tended to involve professional dominatrix services, divorced from any real world relationships.

Then, almost by chance, Dan stumbled across something called the Disciplinary Wives Club.  He  was struck by how different it was from the usual spanking fare.  It was classier, more feminine, and the title said it all.  While there were plenty of other websites devoted to spanking, this one was focused on using spanking within the larger context of a disciplinary relationship, with the female as the disciplining party.  Relationships in which women take control of their marriages by delivering hard, disciplinary spankings to the misbehaving men in their lives. These were no love taps administered with a bare hand. No, these were real, old-fashioned butt blisterings using wooden hairbrushes, paddles, and straps. Although many of the stories and letters on the site had sexual undertones, and even though some of the couples did have sex following a spanking session, sex was not the goal and any overt link to S&M was actively discouraged. Rather, the spankings were intended to be real punishment, designed to correct real misbehavior. Letters from couples practicing the lifestyle described real-life spanking scenes in which the wives often initiated their new disciplinary relationship by announcing that a spanking would not end until after—sometimes long after—the husband was in tears.

Something about the website hit Dan like a hammer.  There was no denying the fact--and his rock hard erection as he read the content testified to it--that there was a strong sexual component to the emotions he was experiencing.  His arousal was, however, kind of like the excitement he experienced when getting on a big roller-coaster at the amusement park.  Excitement yes, but intimately bound up with very real anxiety, with an edge of real fear. 

Yet, he couldn't stop reading. Those who were raised in a time and place in which corporal punishment was doled out in schools on a regular basis will recognize the butterflies in Dan's stomach.  Those terribly long walks to the principal's office after some misbehavior, folded note from the teacher in hand, knowing it contained an instruction to the principal that this young man needed a good paddling. Anyone who has been through it knows that walk is one of the longest of your life. What made those sessions in the principal's office so dreadfully effective, besides the very real fear of a painful, humiliating paddling, was the utter inevitability. Once the order was given, there simply was no getting out of it. Dan now felt a similar dread at the thought of his wife spanking him to tears.  

And, while terrifying, there was also something undeniably compelling, and he realized with a shock that he as he read he had been thinking about this as a real prospect.  As something that might actually happen. The thought of his lovely, demure wife commanding him to submit to her rules, with the prospect of having his ass beaten with a paddle or strap for any  disobedience both fascinated and terrified him.  It was one thing to read about other wives giving a good hard spanking to their misbehaving husbands, but the possibility of his wife giving him a real spanking, a spanking designed to effect a major change in the power structure in their marriage, left him with a sense of real dread.

However, something about that felt strangely right.  Ever the adventurous and unsatisfied soul, he had  been looking for something that would push some real limits, both his and Terry's. It had been years since he had felt any real sense of vulnerability, and the fear now gripping his heart was driven by his utter lack of illusions regarding the nature of what he was contemplating. For any man, but especially someone with his personality, to submit so fully and in such an embarrassing way--and with the possibility of being brought to real tears--talk about psychological vulnerability!

That night, as Dan and Terry lay in bed together, he broached the subject of the Disciplinary Wives Club and its unnerving concepts to Terry.  He talked about it almost as an interesting novelty.  A new bit of kink to share, like a funny Playboy cartoon.  The darkness of the bedroom mercifully concealed the anxiety and embarrassment that surely were written all over his face.  But, Terry sensed his nervousness.  It was in his voice.  Slightly higher pitched than normal.  Tight and timid, halting and hesitant.   On the surface he was just telling her about a naughty experience on the Web but, as she listened, she felt something stirring within herself.  Was her husband doing what she thought he was doing?   Was he suggesting such a fairly dramatic experiment in marital power swapping?  For Dan's part, he really wasn't sure what he was suggesting, or what he wanted her to say or do. In fact, a part of him very much hoped she would dismiss the whole concept with a giggle.

But, Terry didn't laugh.  Rather, she listened quietly and intently, interrupting now and then with a question or noncommittal comment.  She had never been interested in the whole whips and chains, leather-bound dominatrix, S&M thing.  However, Dan explained that many of women who posted letters to the website swore they were not into BDSM and had no desire to be a dominatrix or otherwise adopt an S&M lifestyle. Rather, many of them began as the less assertive partner in their relationships, but they got into delivering real disciplinary spankings after finding that punishing their husband's bad acts in that way made them feel more assertive.  More powerful.  More in control of their own lives.

Laying there in the dark bedroom, Dan couldn't get a read on Terry's reaction. She said very little, but seemed to be taking it all very in, although he had not proposed it as something they should actually try.  After they had been talking for quite some time, or rather he had been talking and she had been mostly listening, she rolled over to face him, running the palm of her hand over his chest and butterfly-filled belly. “Hey, you're trembling a little,” she said. “What's that about? Are you excited, or scared, or what?” Her hand then drifted purposefully downwards, coming to rest inquisitively on top of his silk boxers, stretched to their limit by his massive erection. “Wow, I guess it's excitement, but I'm not sure I would be excited if I were the one who might be on the receiving end of what you just described. Very intriguing. I guess I'll spend some time tomorrow checking out that website.” With that, she rolled over and went to sleep, before Dan could tell her that whatever "excitement" he felt was mixed with genuine terror.

Dan slept fitfully the entire night and was on pins and needles all morning at work, wondering whether Terry would follow through and actually explore with an open mind the website with its tales of disciplinary women, or whether she would write it all off as some perversity in which she had no interest whatsoever, assuming she went to the website at all.   When the phone rang and he saw her number on the caller ID, his heart jumped into his throat, and he almost let it go to voice-mail.  But, he picked it up and croaked out a timid, "Hi there.  What's up?" There was nervousness, but also an interesting note of strength in her voice as she summarized in two words her thoughts about the website she had spent the morning viewing: “Very interesting.”

Dan laughed nervously and asked if that was all she had to say. She hesitated just a moment before replying, her voice gaining strength and authority with each word, “Well, if you really think you want to try this, you better go buy me a wooden hairbrush.” His heart again jumped up into his throat, and he literally went weak in the knees. He was in a daze the rest of the day, and still in a daze as he drove to the local shopping mall after work. He soon found out that heavy wooden hairbrushes aren't all that popular these days. It took him over an hour of walking from store to store to find one, and then only after sheepishly asking for help from a sales girl, whose eyes seemed to twinkle for just a moment with knowing amusement.  Although given the state he was in, maybe her reaction was a figment of his imagination.  An imagination already whirring in high gear at what might be waiting for him when he got home.  His hands were shaking as he paid for his purchase, then walked from the mall with his knees again weak and shaking.  And, despite his very real sense of dread, his arousal had not diminished a bit.  He had not been that hard for that long since he was in this teens.  A reaction he could not quite fathom, in light of his very real fear about where his search for a little spanking "kink" might be heading.

Terry was cooking dinner as he came into the house that night and made his way to the kitchen.  It was clear she too was fighting to hide her nervousness, but there was also something new.  Some new assertiveness as she told him to set the table for dinner.  And, after dinner she got down to business.  Many of the DWC couples she had read about had drawn up a contract governing their new relationship.  Terry didn't insist on quite so much formality, but that night after the kids were in bed they sat at the kitchen table and she dictated a list of some of the things that would earn Dan a spanking.  Staying out late with the guys was a big one, as was going out with them at all without permission. Not showing her proper respect. Copping an “attitude” when talking to her or, like most guys, being uncommunicative.

There were other ground rules. The duration and intensity of a spanking were within her sole control.  While they had set the foregoing list of things that would definitely result in a spanking, they agreed that she could spank him any time, for any transgression, or even for no transgression at all.  They also agreed he could back out of this new experiment at any time, except that he could not get out of an undelivered spanking that she already had ordered or which he knew he had coming as a result of an agreed upon infraction. In other words, if they were going to do this, it was going to be real, and not some sexually titillating experiment that the could back out of as soon as his limits were pushed. They discussed the possibility of agreeing to a “safe word,” which I could use to signal if things became too intense, but they both rejected the idea as leaving him in control, when the whole point was to remove all his control and transfer it to her.  Moreover, the spanking described on the DWC website were supposed to hurt!  Therefore, they agreed they would not do anything to turn a real punishment into something Dan could halt as soon as it got tough. They also agreed in advance that while they were trying to establish these new patterns of authority and behavior, she would err on the side  of severity, exercising her spanking authority often, long and hard.  Throughout the discussions, they were both embarrassed but tried their hardest to approach the situation seriously and thoughtfully. Recognizing that what they were contemplating was a major, major change in their relationship. 

"So, where do we do from here?  Wait until I break a rule and then you well tell me that I am going to be spanked?" Dan asked, a hopeful note in his voice. But, Terry knew that because this was such a huge change they were contemplating, either one of them could get cold feet.  And, as she had thought about the change they were contemplating, thought all day about what it would feel like to really take control over her sometimes overbearing husband, she had realized how much she really, truly wanted to give this a try.  She was not about to let the chance to take some control slip away.  And, it was not like Dan did not have one coming.  His behavior had been bad for weeks because of the stress of a major new work project.  As she played back some of that behavior in her mind, she had little problem ushering in this new era in their relationship.

“Go upstairs, take off all your clothes, and wait for me on the bed. Take the hairbrush with you. I'll be there shortly.”

Dan's heart skipped a beat for the second time that day.  But, almost against his will, he found himself getting up slowly from the kitchen table, his hands trembling as he reached for the hairbrush, which she had placed on the table as they set out the new rules by which he would be governed from this point forward.  He climbed the stairs one by one, then walked slowly up to the bedroom, his heart pounding, the butterflies in his stomach feeling more like a flock of angry birds.  He disrobed quickly, his hands shaking so hard it was difficult to unbutton his pants.  He sat on the bed, waves of fear washing over him, dreading what might come, on the edge of backing out of the whole thing, but holding onto a slim, hidden hope that her resolve would crumble first. The hope grew slightly as the minutes plodded on.  By the time he heard her hand turn the knob of the bedroom door, he  was a nervous wreck and, unfortunately, the look in his wife's usually easygoing eyes left no room for doubt that he had every reason to fear. Her stern countenance said in no uncertain words that he was in for much more than he had bargained for.

With an uncharacteristic firmness, Terry instructed Dan to stand up, her eyes dancing with amusement as she fondled his dumbly aroused penis, chuckling confidently, “I have a feeling you aren't going to be quite so excited after I get through with you.” She sat down on the edge of the bed and instructed him to lay across her lap.  He did so only after a long pause, and then awkwardly, on the verge of begging her to call the whole thing off.  But, for perhaps the first time in their marriage, he did as she commanded.  After he was settled in, she picked up the hairbrush, and stroked its cool, wooden surface in lazy, gentle circles over his tensed bottom. In a voice brimming with new found confidence, Terry took firm control of their new relationship and her unruly husband. “You have had something like this coming for soooo long, and oh boy are you going to get it. This is going to hurt you far more that it will hurt me.”

With that, she brought the wooden surface of the hairbrush down hard on his bottom. She delivered four blows on each cheek in quick succession.  This was nothing like their previous sexy spanking scenes.  It hurt like hell and it was everything he could do to stifle a yell. She paused for a brief moment, while he hoped against hope she was backing out.  But, unfortunately for Dan, it soon became clear she had only been warming up.  She brought the brush down again and again, alternating cheeks and covering every portion of his quickly reddening rump. Hard blows rained down on his bottom. Hard, painful, stinging blows. He lost count around 50, but she went on and on, easily doubling that number. He tried not to struggle, again and again fighting the urge to try to get to his feet.  He didn't cry at first, but it hurt so bad. and it just kept going.  Finally, when he could take it no more, he cried out, "Terry, please, I've learned my lesson!  Please stop!  This hurts too much!"

"It hurts?  It is supposed to hurt.  You said a real spanking is what you wanted.  Well, a real spanking is what you are getting.  Honey, I'm sorry, but we are just getting started."

With that, Terry brought the brush down harder and harder.  WHACK.  WHACK.  WHACK. WHACK. WHACK.  WHACK. 

Dan tried to "take it like a man," but it was too much.  And, it was not just the physical pain.  It was the knowledge that his wife was now more than his partner.  She had become his disciplinarian.  His boss.  And, it would be like this from this point on.  He has wanted vulnerability, and this was it.  As his situation fully sank in, he stopped fighting, yielding to her.  Submitting to her control, no matter how painful.  And, with that, the tears began to flow.  Slowly at first.  Then, as the brush descended again and again, he began to truly sob.

Terry was surprised at how little sympathy she felt.  He had asked for this.  He did have it coming.  And, it just felt right.  As she finally let him up, she knew this change would be very good for them both.  And, as Dan clutched his blazing bottom, he felt strangely at peace inside, like the satisfying exhaustion that follows a long run or a hard workout in the gym.  Only deeper.  His moist eyes probably conveyed more love and devotion than she had seen in them in a long time. She took him gently in her arms and kissed him, tenderly and lovingly.  He felt utterly safe and comfortable in the hands of this amazingly strong, powerful woman that he knew was in there all along.  Those same hands that only seconds before had punished his poor bottom until he was crying like a little boy.

He knew nothing would be the same, but he didn't want it to be.  He had always loved his wife, but he loved this new powerful version.  Even more.